I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
