And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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