so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
