remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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