Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
