Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I cut my penus on the lid.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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