5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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