You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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