I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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