good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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