I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
