Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
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The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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