Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
