At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize