Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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