How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
