No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
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To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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