would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
