im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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