He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize