He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize