so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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