why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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