My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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