My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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