Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm getting married
To pizza
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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