And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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