I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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