i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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