He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
