yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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