Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
