I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
