I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i came on her dog
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize