me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
