hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude i'm inner monologue high
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
