it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
