Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it hurts more in the daytime
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
