10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
