You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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