Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize