I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Couch. On fire.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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