You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
