i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
