bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
