I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
