coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
