When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
