My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
