Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have fence marks all over my body
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize