You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am spending my child support on dildos
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
