She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
