i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
