This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize