he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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