after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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