So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
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I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
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ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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