We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
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She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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