we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
