you guys were way drunker than both of me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the day after is always just damage control
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Houston, we have a blender
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
