This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Im part way to drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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